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A scientific investigation of The Shroud of Nancy

Fake or fiction? YOU decide!


Overview:

Shroud of Nancy - Front Shroud of Nancy - Back In mid 2005 a piece of cloth was recovered from a residence in Portland, Oregon on which an image of a woman's face allegedly was "burned" or "stained" into the fabric of the cloth. Soon after the existance of the cloth was released to the media, astonishing claims began to circulate regarding it's origin. Initially the item appeared to be just a simple face cloth or washcloth on which an unusual pattern appeared. However, reports of the cloth's origin and meaning began to leak into media circles from historians and scholars implying that the cloth with it's unusual image were of more historical and spiritual significance.

This report does not attempt to prove or disprove the authenticity of the relic, popularly referred to as The Shroud of Nancy. Rather, the information provided is based on relevant historical documents and scientific studies regarding the cloth. Although experts continue to debate the authenticity of the cloth, It is left up to the reader to decide if this shroud is either a simple fake or a true forgery.

Background:

Until discovered by Dr. Edmond Fleebus, PhD. State University of Oregon, it is believed that the cloth was handed only between collectors of rare antiquities and historical documents. As the market for illegally obtained artifacts attracts only the wealthiest of benefactors, the relic likely remained relatively unknown until it's recent discovery quite by chance. Dr. Fleebus obtained the item from it's current owner (who, for legal reasons shall remain anonymous) where it had been placed in use only by guests, or for the owner to wash the family dog.

Duncan's Butt Cloth Upon accidently discovering the relic, Dr. Fleebus, a well reknown lecturer and authority on acient bathroom linen, noticed it's strong similarities to that of the now famous 1Holiee Bathe Cloth of Duncan, or "Duncan's Butt Cloth" as it is known in Kenwick, England where it is incased in a locked cabinet in the Abbey of St. Duncan the Morose. Upon querying the owners of the [wash] cloth, Dr. Fleebus learned that the image was reported to have appeared overnight after it was used by a woman to wash her face. The owners told Dr. Fleebus that, after having tried several times to launder the washcloth in Color Guard Cheer", it was their belief that the image could only have been impressed or "burned" into the cloth by miraculous means.

Surmising that the user of this washcloth must have had, at least temporarily, supernatural powers and further, that it could be of historical significance, Dr. Fleebus entered into negotiations, successfully obtaining ownership of the cloth for study. Dr. Fleebus and a team of research fellows embarked on a comprehensive forensic and historical investigation of the relic, or the Shroud of Nancy as it began being referred as.

Earliest records:

Cuneiform tablet - take two and call me in the morning. The earliest known written accounts of the Shroud of Nancy appear on a single Sumerian cuneiform clay tablet dating back to 2350 BC. The tablet was discovered by Dr. Silas Mafoo, an archeologist from the University of Strassbourg, while excavating at the ancient city of Ub on the Euphrates river in present day Iraq. It remained in his collection until a translation of the writing could be obtained. Dr. Mafoo was unable to directly translate the tablet himself. But Silas Mafoo knew just what do do, he called some of his friends who could translate the Sumerian writing. Cuneiform translation The text in part says:
A maid of Ub, not of virgin, washing of [her] face thus transfer[ring] the likeness thereto then died [or dyed].
Ancient city of Ub To date, no further Sumerian tablets have shed any additional light on the Shroud - nor are more expected to ever be recovered as the United States Army has now bulldozed the site of the ancient city of Ub in order to build a chapel and ping-pong tournament facility for military personnel. When asked what further research plans he had on the subject, Silas Mafoo confessed that he didn't know what to do.

Egyptian connection and controversy:

No further record of the Shroud of Nancy appears again until well into the declining years of the Egyptian civilization around 729 BC where paintings found on the wall of a tomb near the city of Titintat on the upper Nile river resurrect the story. In 1923, 2 Sir Gerald Knightwetter uncovered the tomb of a woman of noble birth and peerage while on an archeological dig near ancient Tinintat. Sir Gerald deciphered the hieroglyphics and paintings from the tomb walls which told the story of Nancintetot, an Egyptian woman who sold small pyramids to first-time internees in the region. In his personal journal, Sir Gerald described the scene upon first entering the tomb:
When we entered [the tomb] we expected to find riches and gold beyond imagination. My fondest wish was to finally wave it in the face of that twit Carter and his bastard discovery, Tut. Alas, the blasted tomb was in total chaos; piles of papyrus on every lateral surface, boxes of bloody crap everywhere. The place was a bloody mess.
Nancintitot selling pyramids to reluctant buyers. Nancintitot prepares her face for the afterlife. Although the contents of Nancintitot's tomb were worthless, the paintings on the wall of the tomb do tell the story of a noble woman of Titintat, who not having sufficient wealth to have her innards mummified and placed in jars for use in the afterlife, becomes convinced she is able to take her face with her into the afterlife by transferring her countenance to a washing veil or cloth. The picture on the right depicts Nancintetot attempting to convince some of the residents of Titintat of the benefits of pyramid ownership.

On the left, Nancintitot is being duped into thinking her face has been transferred to the cloth to carry with her into the afterlife. Her daughter, Amymemnon (behind) has used a cloth-shaped polished mirror to complete the ruse.

Middle Ages - 14th Century:

The Middle (or Dark) Ages were a time of prodigious production of religious relics. About this time the now debunked Shroud of Turin appears along with other sacred items of human manufacture. During this time lived a monk in the Abbey of St. Fromage in the village of Puce, France. The monk, Brother Robert the Chaste was hearing the confession of one of the abbey's parishioners. At the time, the church strictly forbade revealing the identities of parishioners seeking confession, thereby ensuring their privacy. However, 3 Brother Robert recorded on parchment manuscript the names and confessions of all his confessors every evening before prayer and retiring for the night. In his manuscripts, Brother Robert recounts the confession of a local villager, Nancie du Mond. Wash cloth from the Middle Ages
Therebye heering confesion, thence came to me one of the townes people, Nancie who doth spake her confesion in my presence. Upon which my eare did i heer of behaviours most fowl and dystasteful. Her confesion being thus so fowl as i sent her anon with moste chastizement saying unto her, get thee a clothe and washe thee of thy sins and transfer them unto thy clothe upon thence burn thy reched clothe for the sayke of thy eternal soul.

There is no further record of what became of Nancie du Mond as she is not mentioned again in Brother Robert's journal. However, historians report stories told of a woman around that time claiming to have transferred her likeness to a washing cloth. Upon showing the cloth to the villagers, the village elders tried and convicted the woman as a witch. The woman was summarily executed by burning, however, the cloth was kept and displayed in a place of honor, probably as a warning to others. Legends of the sacred wash cloth do not appear again until the Reformation. At the right, a woodcut of a woman holding a wash cloth; most likely a depiction based on the tales of Nancie du Mond.

The Reformation and Enlightenment:

The Radience from the Face. As Europe emerged from the Dark Ages, no direct accounts appear regarding the Shroud of Nancy. During this period, the works of artists and sculptors abounded in the cathedrals and homes of wealthy patrons. The art of this time reflected the religious passion of the continent and so the tales of miracles and holy conversionswere often portrayed of the artwork of the period.

At the right: Titled "The Radiance from the Face", by Italian artist Tysonne' Pittore, carved in kitchen tile with a blunt knife, depicts the flash of passion from the face of a woman. The artist renders his vision of a person's soul being transfixed from her face to the air. So if a wash cloth just happened to be draped over her face at the time.. well, you decide.

After having been made available for examination, the Shroud now resides in the hands of a private collector in a secure location in Corvallis, Oregon.

Forensic and Scientific Investigation of the Shroud:

Microphotograph of another well known shroud. Microphotograph of another well known shroud. The Shroud was subjected to a rigorous battery of scientific tests and analysis in order to determine it's authenticity and origin. If the research team would have had access to advanced scanning electro-microscopy, or even a decent microscope from a high school science lab, we might have been able to provide some half-way adequate pictures like those on the right. However, being on a very tight budget, the analysis team was still able to perform the following experiments on the relic:
  • Washing the cloth in "Cheer".
  • Looking at the cloth very carefully.
  • Dropping the cloth from a great height.
  • Examining the cloth very closely.
  • Looking at the cloth then looking away, then looking back at it very quickly to see if it changed when we weren't looking at it.

    • Reverse gamma ray image of Shroud of Nancy. Subjecting the shroud to various wavelengths of light and bombarding it with gamma radiation causes the resulting photographs to reveal more of the image. In these photographs, the outline of a face is suggested. The photograph at the right was marked to help the reader locate the lines of the face. The image first appears to be a man with a beard, or perhaps a woman with a beard. However, it is believed that the cloth was most likely vigorously rubbed against the skin causing the beard-like image.

    Examination of the label:

    Examining the label. Rare in ancient religious artifacts is the presence of a tag or label. In modern-day textile manufacture, the label provides the user with information regarding the handling of the textile during the laundering procedure. Suspecting that the label on the relic may also contain similar information, linguists set about attempting to translate the label. The only other known label appears on Duncan's Butt Cloth although it is damaged and incomplete. What words on the Butt Cloth label which can be discerned are: Boyle not in a kettle nor strike upon with a stone.. - the remainder is undecipherable.

    The linguistic experts disagree strongly regarding the wording appearing on the label. Opinions range between the writing being of Sumerian origin to speculation that the label had been "added" to the shroud during the 14th or 16th century. In either case, nobody could read the damn thing so we gave up.

    What can be ruled out:

  • Stain - The wash cloth is not stained. The image is caused by a change in the color of the pigment.
  • Bleach - The wash cloth is not bleached as other laundry was done with the cloth and no other garments were damaged by bleach.
  • Fading - Intense light or energy could have produced a faded effect. However, the actual color of the pigment is changed.
  • Chemical reaction - Some caustic chemicals like Benzoyl-Peroxide can effect cloth dyes, however these chemicals are for industrial grade etching and would never be approved for use on a human face.
  • Mind-body molecular restructuring - This process so far has only been successfully accomplished on napkins and toilet paper.

    • Conclusion:

    Believers cling to the idea that some type of energy or "plasma" passed from the face of a woman [probably named after some derivation of the Nancy lineage] and through the wash cloth leaving an image of the woman's face on the washcloth. Close inspection of the woman's remaining laundry reveals nothing more on the subject other than she obtains most of her undergarments from Victoria's Secret.

    Skeptics propose that what people are seeing is a simulacrum, sometimes referred to as a Rorschach Icon. The human brain has the tendency to try to recognize a random pattern through a process known as pareidolia in the attempt to interpret vague images into specific ones. The image is therefore nothing more than an optical illusion as seen by the willing and fanciful brain.

    Though it is not likely a holy relic, the Shroud of Nancy will continue to swirl amid the lavatory of controversy, engendering myth and speculation among those who wish to believe in the supernatural. Others will cling to the belief that the shroud is of human creation and either contrived of deceit or was simply poorly manufactured in a third world country.

    Contemporary Shroud of Nancy fantasy art titled
    "Nancy conquers the Benzoyles".

    Shroud of Nancy fantasy art - Nancy among the Benzoyles.
    Footnotes:
    (1) - The Holiee Bathe Cloth of Duncan was extensively researched by Cambridge University and found to be consistent with accounts regarding Duncan, Duke of Kenwick who resided in Kenwick Castle around the time of Charlemagne. According to documents written at the time, Duncan would remove the tapestries from the walls of the castle and tear them into small squares which he would then use for toileting.

    (2) - Sir Gerald Knightwetter was born in Bristol, England in 1889. He had an unremarkable career and dabbled mostly in purloined Egyptian antiquities. He was accused by Howard Carter (discoverer of Tutankhamen's tomb) of having "welched on a wager" and avoided crossing paths with Carter at all costs. He died pennyless having invested unwisely in real estate.

    (3) - Brother Robert the Chaste was later expelled from the Abbey of St. Fromage for defying church doctrine and keeping records of confessions. However, upon threatening to turn his manuscripts over to Johann Gutenberg for printing, Robert was quickly elected Pope. He served the church as Pope Judas the IIV until his unfortunate demise four months later after drinking tainted mead.

    NEWS FLASH:

    New evidence, in the form of this article from a trusted news source, has just come to light which may cast some doubt on the authenticity of The Shroud.